Since The Red Moon Appeared

The office was very quiet, only the voice of Lu Xin talking softly.

He tried his best to slow down his tone and describe accurately, but he was still not sure if Mr. Xiaolu understood.

On the face of Mr. Xiaolu, there was a look of trying to understand but confused.

It was very difficult for her to understand, but Lu Xin was not surprised. He could see that Teacher Xiaolu was still waiting for him so late. One was worried about whether he could come back safely when he went out with No. 8, and it was also because she seemed I want to have a good chat with myself.

Lu Xin didn't intend to lie to Teacher Xiaolu, so he expressed his feelings as accurately as possible.

But looking at her expression, I guessed that she actually couldn't understand.

"I……"

Teacher Xiaolu seemed to be struggling for a moment, but still raised his head slightly, and said, "I don't seem to understand this feeling."

When she said this, a disappointed expression appeared on her face.

It is disappointment with oneself, mixed with strong self-blame and discouragement.

But Lu Xin listened to her words, after a moment of silence, a gentle smile appeared on his face, and said, "It's okay."

"It's a feeling that very few people can understand."

As he said that, his eyes showed seriousness, and he said, "You don't understand, it's good, it's a kind of luck."

Teacher Xiaolu looked at Lu Xin's smile and could feel the sincere comfort in his words.

However, her mood did not improve at all because of this comfort. She slowly lowered her head and stirred her fingers together vigorously. It seemed that she was tired and depressed, and she was not at all as optimistic as before. Looking at her lively appearance, Lu Xin suddenly thought of her current appearance, could it be that the optimism and liveliness of Mr. Xiaolu in front of him was also a performance?

Because I didn't know it before, I couldn't see it.

Now I understand, so I noticed it?

What is this?

Are these two people who desperately perform to each other whenever they meet?

...

When Lu Xin was thinking about these strange questions, Mr. Xiaolu seemed to have thought deeply, slowly raised his head to look at Lu Xin, gestured lightly, and said: "Then, what you say is better now, then Again, what kind of feeling?"

Lu Xin still didn't want to lie in front of Teacher Xiaolu.

He thought about it seriously, and gently pinched the fingers of his left hand together, and then pinched the fingers of his right hand together.

The two hands seem to be holding a thread, gently pulling in the air, and slowly approaching.

"It's like two lines with different wavelengths. They can see each other, but they can't understand each other. This line is the world, and this line is me. It seems that I will never be able to fit in with this world because the wavelengths are different. , no matter how much I please it, it’s useless, but gradually, my wavelength is changing, and the world is also changing, and it starts to like me..."

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu tried hard to understand, and asked anxiously: "Will it really merge together?"

Seeing the anxiety, concern, and genuine joy in Teacher Xiaolu's eyes, Lu Xin stopped.

He knew that Teacher Xiaolu would believe it if he said yes.

However, he would not lie.

So after being silent for a while, he put down his palm and said softly, "I hope so."

"But I don't know."

"Because this part is something I can't control in my own hands."

"..."

The joy on Teacher Xiaolu's face was stunned, and his expression was slightly stiff.

"so……"

She was silent for a long time before she looked up at Lu Xin and said, "Are you still not the same as you used to be?"

Lu Xin was overwhelmed by this question, and he was silent for a long time.

In fact, I can feel that I am different from before, but this is different from what Mr. Xiaolu thinks.

The self in her impression was only when she was in the orphanage, she couldn't feel herself in this world, but she regarded herself at that time as a gentle and kind person. She remembered the way she gave her chocolate, but I don't know that I was looking at her curiously behind her, thinking why this girl is so weak, but why she is so strong...

Think about why she can run so fast.

I was also thinking, if she wouldn't run away, would she still have the guts to provoke those little monsters...

Her misunderstanding of herself, from the orphanage to the present.

It's a pity that the self in her heart has always been false...

She is changing in a good direction, but she thinks that she is getting further and further away from before...

The human mind is an interesting thing.

But for the question she asked...

Lu Xin was silent for a long time, and thought of many questions, including his recent experience, and number eight.

Then he slowly replied: "I've always been me."

"It's just that my perception of the surroundings is different, so the choices I make are also different."

"But I'm still me, that hasn't changed."

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu suddenly raised her head, her expression clearly showed confusion, puzzlement, and fear.

Maybe what she wanted to hear was that it wasn't her who did something before?

Lu Xin could clearly understand what Mr. Xiaolu wanted to hear at this time, but he still didn't want to lie, so he could only slowly say: "I don't know what I look like in the eyes of others, but in my feelings , I haven’t changed, whether it’s the me when I was about to escape… or the me after…, I’ve always been the same me, it’s just that I reacted differently…”

"Maybe Number Eight is right, some things have changed, but some things never will..."

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu was silent.

She seemed anxious, worried, and unwilling.

She tried her best to look up at Lu Xin, but because of Lu Xin's silence, she panicked and didn't know what to say.

How should I say it?

Lu Xin fell into a deep entanglement.

Maybe No. 8 was right, I should have studied hard at that time, otherwise I wouldn't be unable to express this feeling.

I am still myself.

So, how to tell Mr. Xiaolu that he has changed while admitting this?

Maybe you can push the problem to your previous self.

At that time, I was ignorant, too impulsive, too extreme, too angry and so on.

However, the last thing a person should do is to be too harsh on the previous self, the previous self has already worked very hard.

Compared with the previous self, the current self is just a little more experience.

"It's not too early now, you go to bed early."

Thinking about this question, Lu Xin stood up slowly, with a firm expression on his face that he would not regret.

Teacher Xiang Xiaolu smiled and said, "I'll come to see you again in two days."

"..."

Teacher Xiaolu looked up at Lu Xin. After a long time, he could only nod at last.

Lu Xin helped her get the cup in her hand, poured out the tea in it, poured another cup of hot water for her, then picked up the garbage bag beside the table, and walked out of the room gently. During the whole process, Teacher Xiaolu was silent and wanted to speak, but her hands were shaking. The emotions in her heart were like boiling water, and she could not remain stable for a moment, which disturbed her thinking.

When the sound of his leaving footsteps disappeared in the corridor, Teacher Xiaolu turned around slowly, and pushed the wheelchair to the window.

She saw Lu Xin's figure walking through the courtyard of the villa, her heart seemed to twitch violently...

She whispered in an inaudible voice, "Actually, I just want to help you..."

...

...

In the yard, Lu Xin walked out of the elementary school, threw away the trash, got into the jeep, and let out a sigh of relief.

In fact, it can be seen that Mr. Xiaolu has a strong urge to do something for himself.

However, she had already helped herself.

For a long time, it wasn't true that I couldn't integrate into the world at all.

When I was in Red Moon Elementary School, I had that real feeling, and only when I was here...

It's just that I don't know if it's too urgent, or something else, but the current self obviously feels better.

But when I was in Red Moon Elementary School, the previous feeling became weaker and weaker. Just like today’s conversation, I understood that Mr. Xiaolu actually wanted to comfort and help me, but in fact, such a conversation made me feel less Comfortable……

The lingering shadow has always submerged the heart in it.

"well……"

A faint feeling of exhaustion welled up in his heart, Lu Xin slowly started the car and drove forward slowly.

But after walking not far away, the headlights suddenly illuminated a figure sitting on the road railing in front of her. She was wearing a beautiful black dress and was holding a plastic bag in her hand. When she saw Lu Xin's car approaching, her face There was a happy smile on the face.

It's a doll.

Why is she still here?

Lu Xin slightly surprised stopped the car, opened the door and got off.

Seeing him getting out of the car, the doll's expression became even happier. She stood up lightly and held up the plastic bag in her hand.

Inside are small red balls.

Seeing her happy face, Lu Xin suddenly understood that she was waiting for him to have dinner here.

...

...

I can't tell what this moment feels like.

Lu Xin took off from Tinder City. Except for refueling on the way, he almost didn't stop. He only ate something on the plane. When he saw No. 8, although he was invited to a meal, because he had something on his mind, he only had two drinks. It's just a glass of beer, and I hardly ate anything, and this meal, counted now, was already eight hours ago, so the current self...

... I'm really hungry.

He smiled and waved, let the doll sit in the co-pilot of the jeep, then drove her to a nearby square and stopped, the two sat on the bench next to the square, and then took the doll's hand The plastic bag I've been holding on to.

This is indeed a good thing...

Lu Xin thought about it. A clockwork orange was a very expensive ingredient.

While thinking, he opened the plastic bag and was slightly startled, blocking the doll's hand.

Under the puzzled eyes of the doll, Lu Xin tied the plastic bag again, and then threw it into the trash can beside him.

It stinks.

It seems that it has been a long time since I started packing until now...

But, what should I eat...

Looking at the pitiful eyes of the doll next to him, Lu Xin couldn't help but think that she has been waiting for him, right?

Could it be that she hasn't eaten for eight hours?

Just when he was feeling awkward, footsteps sounded not far away, and a tall, heroic woman in uniform came out from the shadow beside the square. Her figure was very oppressive, and she looked at Lu Xin with a sense of oppression. She walked quickly to Lu Xin and Wawa, then put the two lunch boxes in Lu Xin's arms, turned around and left up.

Before leaving, he glared at Lu Xin.

"this……"

Lu Xin stared blankly at the woman leaving, was taken aback for a moment, and then opened the lunchbox.

I saw that inside a bento, there were very delicately made sandwich biscuits with beautiful patterns.

The other bento is fried noodles, and eggs are still added.

Lu Xin's mood suddenly became better, and he had something to eat late at night.

...

...

In the gap between the forest-like buildings in the distance, you can see the red moon hanging low in the western sky, and the surrounding street lights are dim, making the shadows of the two people on the bench extremely long and fused together, making it difficult to distinguish clearly.

The two people sitting on the bench didn't speak, they just ate in silence. Occasionally, there would be a cracking sound of cracking biscuits, and the sound of "sucking" eating fried noodles.

After a long, long time, Lu Xin suddenly said, "Do you understand me?"

With half a biscuit in its mouth, the doll thought about it for a while, then shook her head shamelessly.

Lu Xin laughed happily: This feeling is too relaxing.