I Really Didn’t Want to be a Savior

Seeing Chen Feng's sudden embarrassment, Zhong Lei felt a little nervous.

She secretly wondered if she had said something wrong. Maybe she should lie and say it was all for you?

But she wasn't good at lying and found it uncomfortable.

Zhong Lei is a very simple person with a very straightforward personality.

She originally only liked music and could not hold anything else in her eyes.

The reason why she likes music is that she has great dreams.

The roots of her dreams are childish and yet very real.

"Leave something behind in this world."

Just ten simple words.

Some people often talk about it, and then it becomes a joke in casual remarks.

Some people do it throughout their lives and turn jokes into myths.

Zhong Lei is the second type of person, she doesn't talk about it, she just insists on it.

There are three reasons why Chen Feng can attract Zhong Lei.

First, Chen Feng's "music" completely hit her.

This was what Chen Feng thought was the reason, but he didn't know that it was not the decisive factor.

If you want to attract Zhong Lei, talent alone is not enough.

Even if Chen Feng copied her own songs and resonated with her, it would not be enough.

Wen Wu is the first, Wu Wu is the second.

To be among the top 100 in an art field that no one accepts is beyond ordinary people's imagination and even unreasonable, but she did it.

In the first timeline, she debuted as a pop singer. With her humble status, she withstood the pressure from Zhou A, relied on her own ability to carve out a bloody path, and rose up against the current like a reckless hero.

After becoming famous, she still had to face various difficulties alone without being attached to any power, but she was fearless and finally achieved such achievements and became an idol across the ages.

The stubbornness in her character may be stronger than Chen Feng imagined.

She has a strange and absolute self-confidence in her bones, and she will not give in to anyone, including Chen Feng.

Even though she admired Chen Feng's creative ability so much that she even wanted to become a disciple, she still wanted to catch up or even surpass him.

She knows how to respect her teachers but will not blindly follow them, which is why she dropped out of school.

She will not indulge in the songs Chen Feng wrote for her, but will still tirelessly pursue her own inspiration.

The second reason was that Chen Feng saved her life.

The third point is the most important.

Zhong Lei smelled the sense of responsibility in Chen Feng, a like-minded person, and the level was much deeper than hers.

Zhong Lei once asked Chen Feng, "Why are you so busy and tired all the time? Don't you even want to rest?"

At that time, she already had speculations in her mind, and just wanted to get a solid answer from Chen Feng.

Now, Chen Feng remained silent. Zhong Lei waited for a long time, tilting her head and looking at him with a pair of beautiful eyes.

"Which...if you don't like what I said, I can change my story. For example...it's all for you..."

Chen Feng covered his face and said, "Please don't."

Deadly.

He thought about it again, but there was no way, he had to take strong medicine.

Chen Feng tentatively asked: "Then if I change my mind and ask you to stop creating now. As long as you promise me, we will get married right away. How about that?"

Zhong Lei was stunned, "What nonsense are you talking about?"

"No, I'm serious. This song is too difficult. I don't want you to waste your youth."

Zhong Lei was puzzled again, "I can't write if I'm married? There's no conflict between the two."

Chen Feng shook his head, "It's different. This song is not a love song. Once you get married, it will be sweet all day long. How can you write something so grand?"

"You look down on me?"

"No!"

"Well, I can pretend to promise you, then get married, then write it quietly, and then publish it after we are dead. Isn't this still the best of both worlds?"

Chen Feng was dumbfounded again.

Sure enough, I underestimated her. This is the real her. She is not so honest, and even eight cows can't get back what she has decided.

"this……"

He thought quietly, and it seemed that this was a perfect solution.

At this moment, Zhong Lei next to him suddenly let go of his hand, turned around and pressed his hands on the railing by the lake, and said quietly: "Actually, you don't like me, right? You used marriage as a condition, but you just wanted to use this I have to finish this song, right?"

Chen Feng's heart skipped a beat and he shuddered, "I...I..."

Zhong Lei's tone sounded a little depressed, "You really look down on me."

Chen Feng turned away and suddenly couldn't take the words anymore.

Zhong Lei added: "There are no conditions for what I want to do. I'm just a little sad. You said I wouldn't lie, and you yourself are the same. In fact, I knew you didn't like me from the beginning. Conditional feelings , not real feelings.”

"Yes...I'm sorry."

He spoke out.

Sure enough, lying is difficult.

"I knew it from the beginning, so you don't have to say sorry. I wasn't a lovable person before, so it's good that you didn't hate me. No, you hated me at the beginning."

Chen Feng shook his head, "No."

"You're lying again."

Chen Feng: "Okay, a little bit, but not serious."

Zhong Lei: "What happened next?"

"I don't hate it anymore."

Zhong Lei: "But after you don't hate me, you feel ashamed of me. Does this make you feel uncomfortable?"

Chen Feng felt that he had been completely seen through, "Yes... yes. Why do you understand so much? Have you also studied psychology?"

Zhong Lei suddenly smiled again and shook her head sweetly, "I haven't studied psychology, but I have studied you. I don't know what you have experienced, but I understand your mood changes. I am better than anyone in this world. People understand you better. Maybe better than you know yourself."

Chen Feng: "This..."

Zhong Lei said again: "Are you worried that I will hate you after I find out that you are using me?"

Chen Feng nodded, "Yes."

He really wanted to break into a ghost, or find a rope to hang himself.

terrible.

Does she know everything?

I lied to her and was actually playing with fire and burning myself?

There is really no one who can single-handedly leave a name in history.

I accidentally got lost in her innocence and simplicity disguised as emotion, and unknowingly, I kept exposing myself.

Completely seen through!

What is she going to do today, is she going to strip me naked?

Since she already knew that we were all married in so many previous timelines, this...

Chen Feng got the answer immediately.

Zhong Lei: "Actually, your worries are unnecessary. I like you, and it has nothing to do with whether you like me or not."

Chen Feng: "Huh?"

"Didn't I just say it? Conditional feelings are not real feelings. Feelings are not exchanges. Whether you like me or not does not affect me."

Chen Feng waved his hands repeatedly, "Oh no, aren't you a celibate?"

Zhong Lei nodded, "Yes, because I originally thought that I would never be able to like anyone else in my life, and at the same time, I would not make do with someone I don't like, so I planned to be single for the rest of my life."

Chen Feng wanted to give her a thumbs up.

Zhong Lei spread her hands again, "Besides, you just don't like me that much, but you still have a little... right? I'm good-looking, I sing well, I'm so affectionate, and now I'm so gentle and hard-hearted towards you. It has to melt too, right?”

Chen Feng blushed, "Yes... a little bit."

"You just can't bear the guilt, right?"

Zhong Lei nodded: "So, be completely honest. This way you won't feel guilty. Then you only need to use a little bit of love to get everything from me. I will be very happy in this life, even if I am like this now As long as this continues, I will be happy, I just hope you can be more relaxed."

"Of course, no matter what happens to us next. I will accomplish everything I can accomplish and write the songs you want and the songs I want. The reason why I was angry when I said you looked down on me is actually here."

This is her, able to understand everything, yet making her life so simple.

Seeing that Chen Feng was still thinking about it, Zhong Lei put her hand on his shoulder and shook it, "Also, you are really a troubled person. You always like to think too much in your mind, and life is so tiring. But, what I like is That's it for you, do you understand? You're much more comfortable now, aren't you?"

Chen Feng nodded, "It's much better."

"Confess?"

"Confess. But I have to think about where to start."

"Okay, I'll wait for you to organize your language."

At this time, Ryan came over to say hello: "Chen Feng, we have to go back and rest first. When are you leaving?"

Chen Feng turned around and was about to speak, but Zhong Lei glared at Ryan fiercely, "We still have something to say! You go about your business!"

Ryan's neck shrunk and he ran away quickly, which was weird.

Unknowingly, it was past ten o'clock. After all, there was something to do tomorrow. The crowd dispersed one after another, and even the waiters left after cleaning up the scene.

Fatty Ou settled down in the guest room of Caiweilu, and Uncle Long took care of him.

After all, Song Siyu is a lady and has to go home.

In the end, only a few people were left in Caiwei Lu, Lu Wei, Zheng Rou, Fatty, and Uncle Long.

After everyone had left, Chen Feng and Zhong Lei returned to the small table in the middle of the courtyard and sat down.

There are also new snacks, nuts and drinks on the table, as well as a cup of hot tea and juice.

Chen Feng held the tea cup and started thinking about it for nearly half an hour. Then he slowly lowered his voice and spoke.

"My dream is real, not a dream."

Zhong Lei was amazed in her heart, but her face was calm and she just said: "You continue to talk, I will listen, don't worry about me. I will listen quietly."

Chen Feng nodded, "I have seen the future and experienced the future...many times."

Next, he was talking the whole time and Zhong Lei was listening.

She tried to stay quiet and be a perfect listener.

Zhong Lei almost covered her mouth and exclaimed countless times when she heard the dangerous part, worried about him.

But again and again when I heard that he really died in battle, my worries became reality, and my hanging heart fell to the ground again and again in strange ways.

She tried not to disturb Chen Feng's narration, but this long story was too painful to listen to.

He spoke for a full four hours, until 3:30 in the morning.

"This is probably what happened. This is what I have always pretended to be in my heart. At first I thought it was a dream, but I brought back your songs and other people's songs, as well as "Madman's Conjectures" and "Stars" These are the things that Feng Research Institute is working on. The future is constantly being changed, and I want to win once."

Chen Feng crossed his hands and looked at her calmly.

Zhong Lei pondered for a long time, trying hard to digest everything Chen Feng said.

After a long time, she said: "Let's start from the beginning when you copied my songs."

Chen Feng said: "Well, I want to say sorry to you again. All the songs I wrote for you were originally yours. I also sold your songs to many people. Your feeling that I am your soulmate is an illusion. . That happens because the song is yours and you can be easily touched."

Zhong Lei nodded, "Do you feel that you are a shameless thief who deceives the world and steals your reputation? You are not as good as I hoped. You have wasted many of my lives. Right?"

Chen Feng: "Yes, you know it now. It doesn't matter whether you hate me, hate me, or even don't believe me, it doesn't matter."

Zhong Lei had a complicated expression and asked again: "It really doesn't matter?"

Chen Feng crossed his hands, "Actually, it's still a little bit, but there's nothing I can do about it."

"You are really dishonest."

Chen Feng: "Anyway, I have considered that maybe your feelings for me are all illusions. I didn't dare to say it before, but now that I am sure that you can complete "Morrowind", I dare to say it."

"Let me think about it first." Zhong Lei fell into long thought and her expression became solemn.

After a long time, she sighed deeply, "This situation is too nerve-wracking!"

Chen Feng shrugged, "Yes. But you don't need to worry about other things. Just mind our business. Even if you scold me or beat me, it's fine. If this makes you happy, that's fine."

"After all, compared with you, my ordinary and humble past is nothing to mention. I am not worthy of you at all. I once lied to myself that I wanted to be an actor all my life and accept your favor with peace of mind, but I found that this incident made me worried. The confusion interfered with my judgment, and I couldn’t even figure out what the right thing to do was.”

Zhong Lei rubbed her temples and shook her head, "Wait a minute, don't speak for now. I'll take my time. My mind is a little messy and I need to sort it out."

Chen Feng waited for the trial in anxiety.

No matter how nice her love words were before, Chen Feng believed that once she discovered that everything was an illusion, her heart would inevitably change again.

After a long time passed, Zhong Lei said: "Tell me, why did you copy my songs in the first place? To make money?"

"It must be a bit like this. In fact, I was quite embarrassed at first, but your attitude towards me was so bad at that time that I couldn't be more angry."

Zhong Lei: "So you stole my work?"

"Um."

Zhong Lei suddenly laughed, "It's not surprising, this is your temperament. When you taught me to fool Lin Youde, I knew you were a very sinister person."

Chen Feng nodded awkwardly, "Yes."

"What happened next? We all became friends, and you copied my songs? Are you a professional?"

Chen Feng: "Ahem, I caught you copying because you are the best. If I let you sing your song, it will definitely become popular. It is the safest way. I need to accumulate wealth as soon as possible, so I choose the safest and easiest way."

"So our careers have already started, and you and Fatty Ou are also on the line, and you still copy me? You ride a motorcycle to the scene of the car accident to copy me, and you stand by the fire and play the guitar for me. What's the purpose?"

Chen Feng was even more embarrassed, "Because I find you are so scary. No matter how I copy it, it doesn't seem to have any negative impact on you. The songs you write are getting better and better. I hope to squeeze your potential and let you stay." Drop more stuff.”

Zhong Lei: "For example?"

"Bathing in Fire, Self-Burning, and all the songs in the music box, including "Morning Wind" of course, are all works that you have never created. The same is true for "Sleepwalking Virgo". I have heard it before, but you didn't copy it for me. Chance."

"I am a spontaneous leek. The more you cut the leek, the bushier it becomes, right?"

"Actually, I think of you as a sheep that has been treated with hair restorer."

"I beat you to death."

Zhong Lei hammered him a few times.

Chen Feng was confused, "Aren't you angry?"

"Of course I'm angry."

"But you..."

Zhong Lei suddenly changed the topic: "You didn't plan to save the world at the beginning?"

"Well, because I don't think I can do it."

"But then you went anyway."

"I just wanted to give it a try as a soldier and find out how I died and whether I could survive for a few more days. Who knows that once I go, I won't be able to turn back."

"This is your character. Like me, you don't dare to open your guard easily. Once someone else comes in, you can't get away."

Zhong Lei took a sip of juice and said, "You just said that you have gone to war every time since the fourth time, right?"

"Um."

"Die every time?"

"Um."

"Where are my friends in the barracks? Where are the others?"

"They're all dead, and they keep dying."

"Alas, in your world, humanity has perished seven times."

"Yeah, I'm trying to make sure the eighth time doesn't happen."

Zhong Lei suddenly asked softly: "Are you sad?"

"well enough."

"Liar again."

"ah?"

"You still want to lie to me? Do you think I'm blind? Can't you see that you are depressed all day long, and you are so worried as if there is a galaxy hidden in your heart?"

"Well, it's still sad."

"Can you tell me a specific story about you and your comrades?"

"good."

She found out about Tang Tianxin's existence, and was a little offended at first, and secretly scolded others for their indiscretions, but later she learned that the thinking of humans in that era was in a state of control, and everything they did was reasonable.

Later, she heard that Chen Feng and Tang Tianxin's daughter could not be born again and again.

Chen Feng spoke in a calm tone, as if he was a bystander, but Zhong Lei could detect the ups and downs of his mood from his slightly trembling tone, but his tears couldn't stop flowing.

Chen Feng talked for another two hours, and before he knew it, the whole night had passed, and the sky outside turned white.

It's almost dawn.

After listening, Zhong Lei turned to look at the sky in the distance and whispered: "I can't imagine how you can survive the blow of making sacrifices over and over again, watching the people you care about die over and over again. I tried so hard to embody it, but I could only vaguely grasp a little bit of that feeling.”

Zhong Lei raised her chin slightly, and the seemingly endless tears welled up in her eyes again.

Chen Feng held her hand and said, "You don't have to take the role, as long as you know."

"If I don't take it in, how can I forgive you for actually pretending to be someone else in your heart and about to have a child?"

Chen Feng: "..."

After a long time, Zhong Lei kept rubbing her eyes, "Secular concepts and reason want me to hate her, but I can't."

Chen Feng was silent for a moment, "I'm sorry for putting you in such a dilemma."

"But I thank you for being honest with me and dispelling the doubts I had." As she said that, she stood up suddenly and threw herself into Chen Feng's arms. "It's too difficult for you. You should have told me earlier. !”

Her emotions finally got out of control.

Chen Feng patted her back for a long time, and she finally calmed down.

He asked again: "The thing is so unbelievable, why did you believe it so easily? Isn't this the most illusory lie by the worst scumbag in history?"

Zhong Lei broke away and punched him while crying and laughing.

"Fuck you, if you are a scumbag, will you reject Lu Wei? And long before you started talking, I made up my mind that no matter what you say, I will believe it."

Chen Feng looked at her happily and said, "Thank you."

Zhong Lei rubbed her eyes and patted Chen Feng on the shoulder, "Thank you for what I did. It's all because of your hard work."

"It's okay. There's nothing we can do anyway. We can only persevere."

Listening to his reluctantly relieved tone, Zhong Lei recalled that he had faced herself with the guilt of being a thief for more than half a year, forced a smile, and even had to face her own burning feelings.

In fact, he is very pitiful.

He wasn't even afraid of death, but he couldn't bear the guilt of lying to himself.

What a fool, you obviously love me so much.

Zhong Lei suddenly leaned forward and grabbed Chen Feng's hand again, "I don't know what kind of strangers we were in the timeline you experienced for the first and second time. After all, that is something I have never experienced before. The future, for me, does not exist.”

"I don't care about the future that hasn't happened, I only care about the present. I only know that without you, I couldn't have become who I am today in just half a year. I have already spent half a year to go through my previous life. It's the end of the road. Instead, I want to thank you."

Chen Feng looked into her eyes and said, "Don't do this."

"I'm going to ask you one more question."

"What?"

"Did I like you before?"

"Didn't I tell you already? We didn't know each other well before."

"Then do you think I like you now because of your talent or something else?" Zhong Lei emphasized the word talent very hard.

"no."

Zhong Lei: "Everyone is a complete person, and the so-called talent is only a part of it. No matter whether your talent is true or false, it is still only a part of you. If I really like you only because of your creative ability, then I will not be the same as those who There is no difference between a woman who throws herself into your arms just because she wants to ask you to sing.”

Chen Feng was stunned. Are solitary people so good at self-defeating?

I...am I so good?

"Guess when I first realized I might like you."

"When I rescue you on my motorcycle, right?"

"Correct answer. It has nothing to do with whether you copy the song or not, right?"

"Yes."

"Did the incredible athletic ability you displayed at that time be obtained in the military camp of the future?"

"Yes."

"The time you saved Ryan, he was scarier than the time you saved me. Was it hard for you to train to learn these skills?"

“It was hard at first.”

"and after?"

"Later, I was too strong. The people who trained me and those who trained with me had a hard time, but I didn't work hard."

"Look, you weren't that good at first, and you even wanted to hide and be an ostrich. But then you changed. You became no longer ordinary. I am attracted to you like this. But no matter what you are at any time, you are You. Maybe this is your essence, but in the previous timeline, you didn't have the chance to show it."

Chen Feng thought for a while, "You're right."

"Then of course you are worthy of me."

Chen Feng: "Uh..."

"Today I received a bit of a big shock. To be on the safe side, you can continue to play future songs to me later. I also want to see where my limits are. Then, I have to put some pressure on myself. You are still waiting. Me, when I write this song, we will get married, how about it?"

Chen Feng thought for a few seconds and said, "Okay."

Today he confessed to Zhong Lei, but nothing changed, except that he felt a lot more relaxed.

Zhong Lei is indeed a strange woman who cannot be judged by common sense.

He smiled cheerfully, looking quite silly.

Seeing Chen Feng's completely relaxed look, Zhong Lei also smiled.

If it is true as you said, I was too indifferent in the past and eventually passed you by.

That's my problem, not yours.

Such is life.

Many women spend their whole lives waiting for their Mr. Right, but they can't.

When you reach your thirties, you have to go on blind dates while complaining, get married and have children in a numb manner, or simply end up alone and start complaining about the unfair fate.

In fact, I have met someone at some point, but I missed it by chance.

I once missed you, just like Fatty and Song Siyu once missed each other.

Not this time.

Chen Feng, you are always changing.

Your changes make me curious about you, and make me always try to figure out the meaning behind every word you say. The more I figure it out, the more I can't help myself.

Now I like you even more.

She stared blankly at Chen Feng again, watching his figure continue to lengthen under the light of the morning sun.

She took a deep breath and thought to herself.

If you go against the light to dispel the darkness, you will be destined to bear too much suffering.

The tone of your story telling is very plain, but you must have wandered and staggered in loneliness, and cried silently in despair.

You will also be anxious that no one in the world can understand you, so you always cover it up with a false smile.

But from now on, I choose to believe you, and you must believe me.

I will never let you stand alone at the end of civilization again.

I will try to understand your motivations for everything.

If I burn my life, I can help you.

How can I not be a part of such a great mission?

I have no regrets and will never retreat.

Together we can create more miracles in this era.

Believe in us, and you must also believe in your future self.

Just when Zhong Lei was in a daze, Chen Feng stood up, stretched and said, "Okay, I haven't slept all night, let's go and rest."

"Um."

The two of them originally wanted to go home directly, but they didn't expect Lu Wei to run out of the back room with dark circles under her eyes and forcefully pulled the two of them back and settled down in the guest room.

Zhong Lei slept until the afternoon. When she woke up, Chen Feng, Ryan, Ou Junlang, Meng Xiaozhou, and Lu Wei were sitting around in the yard.

None of the servants and waiters in Caiwei Lu were here. They must have all been asked to go home and avoid it.

"Are you awake? You should wash your face and eat something first. I have something to announce."

Chen Feng said to her.

Zhong Lei nodded.

Twenty minutes later, everyone finally arrived and Chen Feng stood up.

He held a fist-sized stone in his palm.

"I'm going to announce something next. I'll give you a background first. No matter how incredible what I say sounds, don't have any doubts. In order to prevent you from thinking that I'm bragging, I'll give you a trick first."

After speaking, he picked up the stone and exerted force with his fingers.

The stone cracked with a snap, then exploded, sending dust flying all over the sky.

A large chapter of 7000 words.