I Really Didn’t Want to be a Savior

When he was a boy, Chen Feng had fantasized about it many times.

Suddenly one day, the figures of biological parents appeared outside the classroom door, calling their names.

Then you can leave this painful home and return to where you should be.

But as time went by, he slowly gave up his extravagant hopes, became numb, no longer had illusions, and just wanted to get out of trouble by his own efforts.

He didn't know how he felt about his biological parents.

Are you grateful to them for giving you life?

You should be grateful.

But why did he ignore himself and let himself appear alone in a stranger's home, turning into the son that the stranger bought with money? As long as I can remember, I can't feel the slightest warmth when I think of my parents.

Therefore, even though he knew it was wrong, Chen Feng still felt a little resentful towards his biological parents.

He hated that if the other party couldn't raise him properly, why would he give birth to her?

Since I was born and I was lost, why don't you try to find me.

If I hadn't been a little bit more stubborn and stronger than ordinary people, and also pretended to be a little more cold-blooded, I would have been just a few inches away from sinking into the abyss and unable to escape.

This youthful resentment lurked in his heart, and he thought he had forgotten it, but now Lu Wei suddenly brought it to his eyes, making him instantly lose his footing.

The impact of this deep-rooted emotion on him was even stronger than when he died as a human leader.

Now he can shoulder the heavy responsibility of saving civilization, but for a while he is unwilling to face the pain of his youth.

Lu Wei understood his mood, and had already sketched this scene in her mind many times before taking out the document bag.

Chen Feng's seemingly categorical "don't look" made her smell a strong "human flavor" from this overly detached genius of the same age.

Fortunately, you didn't become an immortal.

Five minutes later, Chen Feng spread his hands and said, "Let me take a look."

Lu Wei put the sealed document bag in Chen Feng's hand with a "I know you" expression.

Inside are a few thin pages of paper and seven or eight reproduced photos.

Chen Feng didn't dare to look at the photos first, but read the description of the situation on a few pages.

The truth was consistent with one of the things he had suspected many times.

Chen Feng still vaguely remembers what happened in the past, but it's very vague. He can't recall the specific time and place, or even the person's face or the appearance of the scene.

He only knew that when he was very young, his grandparents put their baskets on their backs early one morning, saying they were going to the town to sell vegetables, and then handed him over to a young fellow from the same village to help look after him.

Then the young man took him around, probably to the village health center.

There was a small house near the health center. Many people were playing cards, and young people also joined in.

The young man got a straight flush or something in the first hand. It was a big card anyway, killing everyone, and he suddenly became very excited.

Then the young man asked Chen Feng to play by himself.

But he was no fun because no one paid attention to him and there were no other kids around.

Chen Feng was very bored alone and wanted to find his grandparents.

Not long ago, he took his grandfather's 28-lap bicycle to the town once. He remembered that there was only one paved road. It seemed that the market where his grandparents sold vegetables could be seen directly from the roadside as long as he walked along this road.

He decided to go find his grandparents on his own.

He ran away quietly.

Five minutes later, he appeared at the T-junction consisting of a village road and a national road.

Damn it, I forgot whether to go left or right.

Chen Feng lingered in place for a long time and decided to go left.

Maybe...maybe...that's right, right?

…

In 1999, in a market in a county in Shu Province, a boy squatted in a corner with a confused face.

He hadn't eaten for almost a whole day and was very hungry.

He is lost.

An "enthusiastic" aunt took him to have a bowl of noodles and offered to help him get home.

He believed it.

When he came back to his senses, he had already appeared in a certain rural area thousands of miles away.

At the age of three, he faced strange "parents", strange "relatives", and a strange environment, and fell into great panic.

"You are not my parents! You are not my grandparents either!"

These were the first words out of his mouth with the middle-aged couple and others.

This sentence set the tone for the first half of his life.

Sometimes Chen Feng regrets it himself, why should he remember it? Maybe it would be better not to know anything.

Or if I could be smarter and know how to act to please others and not reveal my words as soon as they come, I would be able to live a better life.

But this is too overwhelming for a three-year-old child.

What's even more irritating is that he clearly remembers it, but he doesn't remember it in detail enough and can't remember where it is. So when he became sensible at the age of eleven or twelve, he always wanted to pack up his bags and set off, but he didn't know where to go.

The world is so big, there is nowhere to call home, and I can only go back in despair.

In a daze, he grew up like this.

He didn't know much about how other people's children lived. He only knew that he had to work in the fields since he was five or six years old.

When he reached junior high school, some of his classmates dropped out one after another and went out to work, but he wanted to study because the teacher said it was useful.

But in "home" I was urged and scolded day by day.

He said that he was doing nothing for nothing, while other people's children could go out to earn money and send money back.

On the other hand, he just knew how to read some useless books and raised an unfamiliar white-eyed wolf.

It cost you more than a thousand to buy it, you lose money.

Chen Feng was deprived of textbook fees and had his living expenses reduced. Even eating oil in every meal was a luxury.

If the teacher hadn't noticed that he was too thin and stunted because of his good academic performance, and often asked him to go home for meals, Chen Feng suspected that he would have died of malnutrition in junior high school.

As for the textbook fee, it was the principal of the school who advanced the money for him, saying that he was a good boy and needed to study.

In high school, things got even worse. He could no longer get any money, and he would not be allowed to return to his "home".

But the old men at the county elderly activity center were very helpful to him. He only had to sweep the floor, help the people who ran up and down pour some tea, chat with the old men, and from time to time he would be pushed onto the chessboard and killed to pieces. , you can get hundreds of yuan a month.

But life is not all good. Chen Feng's relatively withdrawn personality and his poor dress also caused him to suffer campus bullying when he went to high school in the county town.

However, after others saw his life-threatening cruelty, they calmed down a lot. They just isolated him and did not easily fight against him.

He had poor interpersonal relationships among his classmates. He didn't have many friends, but he still had some.

He finally succeeded in getting admitted to the 985-level Hanzhou University with good results, embarked on a life that truly belonged to him, and was completely emotionally separated from that "family".

Time flies and we are now here in the blink of an eye.

Chen Feng has both hatred and love for the world.

His hatred was very confusing, because he really didn't know who he should hate, but there was still fire in his heart.

But his love has a clear goal. The teachers who helped him, the classmates who occasionally put vegetables and meat into his empty lunch box, the old men at the senior activity center, Tang Shuang...

If it weren't for the existence of these people, Chen Feng doesn't know what kind of person he would become.

His experience destined him to be a complex person.

In the past six months, in addition to giving a lump sum of money back to his adoptive parents, Chen Feng also asked people to go back to his hometown that was not really his hometown one after another, and contacted people who had helped him.

He told others that if they needed help, he would be able to help.

But most people, no matter whether they have difficulties or not, tell him that it's okay, we are doing well, you have time to organize a party, and we can all eat together and chat.

It is said that birds of a feather flock together, and the kindness in youth becomes the cultivation of youth when you grow up.

Looking at his life at a glance, Chen Feng's character and experience helped him complete the friend selection process in advance.

So much so that Chen Feng didn't dare to say, "If you are short of money, don't make any trouble, just tell me boldly."

On the contrary, these true friends replied, it is vulgar to have money in love, but if we are really at the end of our rope, we will find you, don't worry.

It's a pity that many of the old men with whom he had the deepest friendship have left one after another in recent years. Chen Feng has wanted to go back several times to see the two remaining old men, but he has been busy until now. From time to time, we can arrange for someone to send some health products and small gifts.

If it’s too expensive, no one will want it.

Including the meals of his classmates, he was also held back.

He has no home, these people are his "home", but he has no time to go back.

But now he finally sees his other home.

This is a photo of a man, and his facial features are vaguely similar to his.

The man appeared to be in his twenties, wearing a green military uniform, with dark skin. He smiled resolutely in the sun and his eyes were focused. It reminded Chen Feng of his makeup photos in the future when he was wearing military uniform.

The photo is a very old-fashioned film color photo from the past. Judging from the color, it should be Lucky film.

"very nice."

He opened the second photo.

This is a woman wearing a white nurse uniform. She is very beautiful and has a bright smile.

She stood in the shade of a tree, and the sunlight shone on her face, making her slightly unable to open her eyes.

It was obviously a serious photo shoot, but her eyes drifted to the left very hard.

On the left side of the screen are little feet wearing only Smurf socks.

"My mom is so pretty."

he said.

The third photo is of a woman holding a child about two months old, standing side by side with a man.

The two adults were still trying their best to put smiles on their faces in the sunshine, while the child in the woman's arms opened her mouth wide and looked like she was crying. The Smurf socks on her legs were particularly conspicuous.

Turning to the next photo, it turned into two old people sitting on chairs, in the center of the photo layout, and the child fell into the arms of the old woman, still struggling.

The two adults stood behind the old man. The man's military posture was still straight, while the woman's eyes drifted downwards and fell on the child.

There are also three or four photos, which were taken when he was about one or two years old. Some are taken alone, and some are of him being doted on by two old people.

Although he is very young in the photo, Chen Feng can still see his shadow in his eyebrows.

The story of getting lost was based on the author's own experience of getting lost as a child. However, I had better luck and moved into a good home. My parents found me the next day.