I Can’t Be a Sword God

poof.

The banks of the bustling river are still full of people from Jixiang Mansion who want to make a fortune by fishing. At this time, a young farmer's ax accidentally fell into the river, making a muffled sound.

"Oh, my new axe!" the young farmer wailed, "It's worth a tael of silver!"

The person next to him couldn't help asking curiously: "What are you doing with an ax when fishing?"

The young farmer asked strangely: "How can anyone fish without an axe?"

Looking at the deep river, it is absolutely impossible to pick up the heavy ax that fell into it. The young farmer was about to mourn for him when he suddenly heard a strange sound of waves.

Hearing the sound of rushing water, a dark-faced old man in a simple robe was lifted by the waves and came to him from the middle of the river.

There was also a small flag planted behind the black-faced old man, on which was written two distinct red letters on a blue background: "River God".

"It's actually Lord River God?"

I don't know who yelled, and the people around immediately gathered to watch the excitement.

Seeing the black-faced river god smiling kindly at the young farmer, he said softly, "Young man, why are you crying here? Did something fall into the river?"

"Yes, yes, Lord River God!" The young farmer nodded repeatedly, "My newly bought ax fell into the river!"

"Haha, don't worry, it's a trivial matter." The Lord River God smiled slightly, then scooped up a flower with both hands from the water.

The one on the left is golden, and the one on the right is silver, flowing with dense brilliance, which is extraordinary at first glance.

The God of the River smiled and said, "Then, did you drop this nasturtium or this anemone?"

The crowd was in an uproar.

In the envious eyes of everyone, the young farmer also showed a surprised expression, and he was stunned. He looked at the black-faced river god in front of him, and replied, "You idiot, didn't you hear that what I said was an axe?"

"..."

After a few short seconds of group silence.

The black-faced River God actually chuckled, and said, "You are indeed an honest young man, then I will give you both gold and silver lotus flowers."

"I..." The young farmer opened his mouth, just as he was about to exhale the fragrance.

The river god raised his hand again, showing a mysterious smile.

"You may not know what these two lotus flowers are for..."

After finishing speaking, he threw the golden lotus into the air and said loudly: "Big big!"

The nasturtium rose into the air and turned around, rising against the wind, and turned into a big lotus platform with a radius of three feet in a blink of an eye.

"These are the two lotus platforms where the Buddha sat before going up to Lingshan according to the legend. This golden lotus is imbued with Buddha nature and surrounded by thunder sounds. Its spirituality is not weaker than any innate spiritual treasure. Its most miraculous effect is that the monks Chanting scriptures, meditating, and practicing Zen on it can... prevent hemorrhoids."

"Huh?" The crowd made a shocked sound.

Hemorrhoids, for Buddhist disciples who meditate all the year round, are simply the biggest obstacle on the way to becoming a Buddha.

And this lotus platform has such a miraculous effect!

The young farmer seemed to have finally realized the magic of the thing in front of him, and asked in a trembling voice: "Then... what magical effect does the anemone have?"

"Hey, this anemone..." the black-faced river god lowered his voice, and said slowly, "It's the night-use type of nasturtium."

"..."

Everyone on the shore gasped.

I couldn't believe that I could see such a rare treasure in my lifetime.

The God of the River handed the two lotus flowers to the young farmer, and said, "If you dedicate these two secret treasures to the dignitaries in the world, not to mention your success, you will still need ten thousand taels of gold."

"That's right..." The young farmer murmured with ecstasy in his eyes, "I'm going to dedicate this to...the emperor! I'm sure I can get a lot of rewards."

"You bastard..."

The black-faced River God's swear words were obviously on the verge of his mouth, but he swallowed them back.

He gritted his teeth and continued to try to be persuasive: "Young man, there is no need for this. Isn't there a son of the royal family who is stupid and rich in your northern land?"

"Well...but my ax is still..." The young farmer was still pondering, as if he wanted to say something.

Before he could say anything, the Black-faced River God grabbed his collar and said angrily in his ear: "You motherfucker, hurry up and take these two treasures to Prince Han's Mansion for money today, but if it's later, I'll let you Your whole family can’t survive tonight! Do you think Lao Tzu’s River God was elected? Lao Tzu’s territory was fought back! Do you understand?”

"..." The young farmer blinked, then bowed deeply, "Lord River God, please forgive me for my previous disrespect, thank you for your gift, I will go to complete your great instruction, goodbye."

...

In Prince Han's Mansion.

In the clean room, sandalwood is curling up.

With a flattering smile on his face, King Han sat opposite the Chan Master.

The longer he got to know the Zen master, the more he felt that his previous self was so despicable that he had lived for decades in vain. He firmly vowed that he would abstain from alcohol and meat for the rest of his life, and as for abstaining from sex... think again.

In short, it is the Zen master who opened the door to a new world for himself and ignited the light of life for himself. Only the Zen master is the eternal faith.

So after getting the treasure, he also couldn't wait to offer it to the Zen master.

"Master Zen, I have just spent huge sums of money to obtain two Buddhist treasures. I wonder if Master likes them." King Han laughed.

"Oh?" The Golden Bodhisattva smiled and nodded: "His Royal Highness Han has a heart, what kind of Buddhist treasure is it?"

"It is a pair of lotus platforms where the legendary Buddha sat before becoming a Buddha."

King Han respectfully placed a pair of lotus stands on the table.

"Trollus flowers are used daily, and anemones are used at night. It is said that sitting on them to chant scriptures, meditate, and practice Zen can... prevent hemorrhoids."

"..."

The smile of the Golden Bodhisattva gradually stiffened, and he was silent for a while.

Then he asked slowly, "His Royal Highness, do you think the poor monk will be troubled by this?"

His deep gaze made King Han feel guilty.

King Han quickly lowered his head and said, "It's my disciple who was rude. Zen master has great wisdom and magic power. How can he have the same troubles as those ordinary monks? I'll return this thing..."

"There is no need to trouble yourself, since it is the prince's wish, then I will reluctantly accept it." Hearing this, the Golden Bodhisattva said quickly.

"Ah..." King Han was stunned and raised his head.

Seeing that the lotus stand on the table had disappeared at some point, the Golden Bodhisattva put it away in an instant as if afraid of his repentance.

"Of course, let me stress again, I have accepted the treasure, but I will never use it." Golden Bodhisattva repeated earnestly.

"Yes, of course Zen master is not needed." King Han nodded cautiously, then left tremblingly.

And on the other side, in the world filled with infinite golden light.

The Buddha-like Golden Bodhisattva sits on a huge lotus platform, looking at the two lotus platforms with eyes like a treasure, with an irrepressible smile on his face.

"There is such a treasure in the world, it's a pity that I only saw it today." He murmured, and then shouted: "Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da Da!"

With an order, the Golden Lotus Terrace turned up into the air, rising against the wind.

It's just that this time it has risen to the height of about one person, and it will not continue to grow, but will stop slowly in front of the Golden Bodhisattva. The Golden Bodhisattva can see through layers of delicately carved petals that look like natural petals, there is a faint black shadow inside...

one……

Although he couldn't see his face and figure clearly, he could already feel the shadow that should be extremely handsome.